Let Things Go

I believe this was the first song I saved to the 2026 summer's playlist. It was such an obvious choice, I'm not sure I even listened to it all the way through before adding it.

Originally, I had grandiose visions of writing some groundbreaking thoughts about this song. Yet, as I listened to it over and over—waiting for the groundbreaking idea to come to me—I realized the simplicity of the lyrics was the groundbreaking idea. They were already saying exactly what I wanted to say.

"Let things go, it's not good for you

Or anybody else."

Earlier this summer, I found myself having one of those weeks where my mind wouldn't stop rehashing, reliving, and replaying. You know the kind. The conversation you wish had gone differently. The mistake you can't stop thinking about. The situation you're trying to prepare for before it even happens.

We all know that festering, cycling, dwelling, and spiraling keep us stuck. Sometimes we're living in the past. Sometimes we're rehearsing the future. Either way, we're missing the present.

And yet, I don't think any of us sit around thinking, "I'm so glad I'm holding onto this thought. It's really serving me."

We know it isn't serving us.  What we often don't know is how to let it go.  Letting things go is an exercise in resilience. So, instead of pretending I have something groundbreaking to add to these beautiful lyrics, I thought I’d talk about resilience building exercises. 

"Let things go, it's not good for you…”

As the song says, holding onto things is not good for you.  It can feel like carrying around an invisible weight. It affects us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It changes how we sleep, how we eat, how much energy we have, and how present we are with the people we care about.

Many of us try to stop thinking about something by thinking even harder about it. Unfortunately, our minds rarely work that way. Trying to suppress difficult thoughts or emotions often gives them even more power.  What if, instead of suppressing or holding tightly to that thought, you dug deeper into it and helped yourself to release it? 

Exercises - Name it to Tame it:

• Another way to think of this is naming the emotion to tame it.  

  • Clarify what emotion you are experiencing.

  • Name it to tame it - choose a name that resonates with you (I once had a client name an emotion “The Big Ugly” - she had fun with the rest of this exercise after starting with that name.)

  • What color is this emotion - or what does it look like? Is it a large angry ball or a rushing stream of water?

  • Where do I feel this emotion?  Is it knots in my stomach, heart racing?

  • Breath into the emotion and then, using the name you gave it, have a conversation with it. How do you want to release this emotion?

    
    

“...Or anybody else."

When we're carrying something heavy, it often spills into our relationships. We withdraw and isolate and become impatient. We replay conversations instead of having new ones. Healthy relationships require us to discern what needs to be worked through and what simply needs to be released.

Years ago, after an especially uncomfortable experience at my husband's workplace, we wrote a thank-you letter we never intended to send. It wasn't written to change anyone else's behavior. It was written so we didn't have to keep carrying the conversation around in our heads. We tucked it into a book, and every few years we find it and laugh.  There are many versions of this exercise.

Exercises - Write a Do Not Send Letter:

• Write the letter you'll never send.

• Write the conversation you wish you'd had.

• Write every uncensored thought onto a page and throw it away, or, if you're feeling dramatic, burn it.

  
  

"Let things go, you've been carrying it

All by yourself."

One of the biggest barriers to letting things go is believing we have to carry everything alone. We worry about being a burden or we don't want to appear weak (raising my hand here). So we convince ourselves we should be able to figure it out.

But resilience isn't built in isolation, community is essential to self-care and resilience.. Sometimes the first step in letting something go is saying it out loud to someone you trust.  Community doesn't solve every problem, but it reminds us we don't have to carry every burden by ourselves.

Exercise - Community: 

• Go to your people.  Call that friend and ask if they will just listen to you.  I don’t mean “just” as a lesser quality, I mean only listen to you - truly listen to you.  Tell them you don’t want feedback, or advice, or sympathy, you just want them to listen to you.  Take a deep breath after letting your story go and thank them.  

  
  

"Set things down, it's okayTo take a rest."

Did you know you can take a rest?!  This is regularly headline news for me, as well.   So, ask yourself, what would it look like to believe that?  What would you have space for - mentally, spiritually, physically - if you took an intentional rest?  Rest looks different for everyone but, as we BRAs do, here is an Unplug and an Elevate exercise for rest.

Exercise - Unplug or Elevate:

• Unplug through mindfulness - while this buzzword may seem intimidating, I like to think of it as nothing more, and nothing less, than paying attention to this moment, without judgement.  

  • Sit comfortably with a candle a few feet in front of you. Set a timer for one to three minutes and allow the flame to ground you. Your mind will wander, and that’s ok. Each time it does, gently bring your attention back to the flame.
    

• Elevate through creativity - creativity doesn’t mean you have to be artistic or produce something that will be shared.  Creativity allows you to immerse yourself in the right side of your brain and release the more logical side of your brain.

  • Take a blank piece of paper and draw a bunch of circles - some can overlap, some can be on their own, don’t over think it.  Next, start creating patterns in each circle.  Use different colors and sizes, create different patterns in the spaces where circles overlap - or don’t.  Again, don’t overthink it. 

"You can say, 'Goodnight.

You can set things down.

You can say, 'Goodbye.”

Our bodies often carry stress long after our minds have moved on.  It's remarkable how much we're holding without even realizing it.  And when do we often notice this?  At night, when our bodies, minds, and spirits most want - and need - rest.

Exercises - Progressive Muscle Relaxation:

• While lying down, start with your toes, gently tense each muscle group for a few seconds before releasing it. Slowly work your way through your entire body, ending with your face.  Do one final full body tensing, and release.

• Take a deep breath in, hold your breath for a few moments while thinking about what it is you’d like to let go.  Loudly exhale and visualize this leaving your body and going out into the atmosphere. 

  
  

"You can let it roar.

You can let it out."

The important reminder throughout this song, and, hopefully, this article, is to let it out.  However you need to, let it leave your body, let it drift from your mind.  While many of the exercises I’ve shared lean to the quieter side, there is so much revitalizing power in letting things out.

Exercises - Let it OUT: 

• Let yourself have a good cry over the situation - let it out.

• Scribble furiously across a page - draw it out.

• Move your body: dance in your kitchen, hit a punching bag - wiggle and shake it out.

• Make messy shit - Jackson Pollock it out

• YELL: scream into the wind, a pillow, out the car window - push it out

"You can let things go

And anything your heart needs to make you feel better."

The idea with all of this isn’t to avoid difficult emotions but to intentionally meet them so they can move on instead of taking up permanent residence.  

And now, ask yourself, what have I made space for?  Is it peace, purpose, connection?  Is it you and the life you want to be living?  Whatever it is, if it’s important to you, it’s worth making the space for it.  The more you choose you, the less you choose the things that aren’t supporting you or helping you to grow.  

That choice takes resilience - and time, and energy.  So be kind to yourself.  Life is hard and you are carrying a lot.  Hold onto what helps you grow and let go of anything that convinces you otherwise.

Journal Prompts:

• What am I holding onto that isn’t serving me?

• What do I want to make space for?

• What do I need more of, or less of, in my life right now?