Change Happens Regardless

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” — Maya Angelou

This summer was a season of very real transition for me.

It happens periodically. It’s a change I can expect. I don’t like it, and I’ve grown to expect- and dread - it. Now that I’ve had a couple of months to live into this new life, I know things about myself that I hadn’t realized before.

I guess I’m the kind of person who moves across the state because of her spouse’s career.

The last move wasn’t easy, but this one was heart-wrenching.

The funny-not-funny part about this particular change is that, as an addictions counselor, I literally talk about change with people every single day. I can tell you all about the stages of change, the importance of tiny wins, the value of setbacks, and relapse.

Yet when I am faced with a transition of my own, I feel less like a person who understands change and more like a toddler throwing a tantrum in a grocery store.

Please tell me I’m not alone in this.

I have a Post-it on my daily planner that reads: “Change is a skill we can learn.”

When I heard that phrase in a seminar, it struck me as an “aha!” moment. Simple. Wise. True.

But knowing that change is a skill doesn’t magically make me willing to learn it.

The thing is, change happens regardless.

Finding an ounce of willingness, a gram of curiosity, or even an inconsistent amount of trying to stay open can help us move through it.

Maybe that’s what learning to change looks like. Not becoming someone who gracefully welcomes every disruption with open arms but practicing how to meet what is happening with just a little more curiosity and a little less resistance.