There are songs you listen to, and then there are songs you live in. California Stars, by Wilco and Billy Bragg, built from the unfinished notebooks of Woody Guthrie, is the latter for me. I am a sucker for a good metaphor, and this song opens with one of the best: stars not as something you look up at, but as somewhere you can go. A bed. A place to lie down. That reframe gives me everything I need. Two Guitars Before the words even land, the song tells you how to feel throug

Have you ever noticed that sometimes the quickest way to make someone not do something is to tell them to do it? Tell me to "relax," and my nervous system immediately says, tenses up. "Absolutely not." It's the same reaction I have when someone says, "You should smile," or starts a sentence with, "Actually..." My whole body resists. So the first time I heard Julianna Calm Down by The Chicks, I had the same reaction. "Calm down? Excuse me?" But then I listened a little closer.

Take your instinct by the reins You'd better best to rearrange What we want and what we need Has been confused, been confused It's wild to me how often, when we meet new people, one of the first questions we ask is, "What do you do?" As an experiment, I often avoid asking that question just to see how long a conversation can go before work comes up. It's surprisingly difficult. When people don't ask me what I do, I notice myself relax a little. It's a subtle shift that remind